Children Learn What They Live

A good friend of mine has this poem hanging in her house. Today I read it fro the first time all the way through and it really touched me. I hope you enjoy it and it touches a part of you like it did me. 

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

By: Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

Source: Canfield, J. & Wells, H. C. (1976). 100 ways to enhance self-concept in the classroom: A handbook for teachers and patents. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

The Duggars

So the Duggars have been in the news a lot lately they are a Homeschooling and Christian family and to many people they represent what homeschooling and being a Christian is like. Since the Duggars have been in the news more I have been approached more than once about our choice to homeschool Little T. People have assumed that since I plan to home school and am a Christian then I must fall under the same umbrella that they do. However that is the farthest from the truth. While there are some families that fall under the same umbrella as the Duggars most of us do not and should not be judged as if we do.  However since they are such a hot topic right now I am going to talk about some of the topics that have been brought up as of late to the best of my knowledge

So lets start with the biggest issue and the 'main' issue, the oldest boys involvement in sexually deviant acts. I am wording it as sexually deviant acts because not all of the acts have come to light and to what extent, no matter what it was not good or right. Since I do not know what all happened I can not and will not pass judgement but I do hope and pray that justice will or has been served. The reason that I say we do not know the whole story is that there that is one thing experts, non media, seem to agree on, we do not have the whole story.

The area that I would like to address is how we need to be careful with what advice and who we choose to be our leaders. Our kids look to us, their parents, to know who to trust and who listen to about our morals. When those people or leaders teach or influence our children in ways that go against our morals and beliefs then we must act and protect our children by getting them away from that influence and reteaching them and counseling them in what is right. However even before it gets to that point we as parents must choose those around our kids. We must also be willing to stand up when we feel our children might be in danger. Sometimes this means seeking advice from those we spiritually can trust out side of our main church.

The other issue I would like to address is education. I completely understand not wanting to teach sex education at a young age but some education or guidelines to help prevent sexual assault on our kids. Even if do not want to teach them why a parent can establish rules for their kids that will keep them safe. Some of the rules we have are no secrets, no one touches your private area, and to tell an adult if anyone ever touches you.  I will talk more about some of our rules later.

My prayers go out to the all those involved in this and any other act of sexual assault.

15 Minute Blessing

What does your husband do? Does he go into work  everyday?

For our family we are very blessed because my husband is able to work from and only has to be away for limited amounts of time. It is a great, especially when it comes to cooking as I do not do a lot of cooking. While many would thing that this would leave a lot of time for my husband, Daddy T, to spend with Little T he really has work the whole day.

Today however Daddy T was able to find about 15 minutes to do a sand picture with Little T. Little T had asked and they spent the time talking and pouring sand, there were no conflicts or anything. Little T was beyond thrilled he carried the picture around with him for the next hour and then preceded to take it to nap with him. Then tonight he would not go to bed until he had his picture.

During these 15 minutes I was able to give my mind a break and enjoy a little quite time. Which was also an unexpected surprise and much needed.

Sometime we do not realize what a blessing 15 minutes can be to those around us. Some times that 15 minutes comes in the for of doing an activity with a child, listening to a story, or having a cup of coffee with a friend. Many of the time times these 15 minute blocks of time are the ones that are remembered the most because they are the out of normal times.

I know some of my most vivid memories are not the day to day life but rather the few minutes that broke the norm and someone paid the extra time and attention to me. So as we go through our day don't forget to every now and then take 15 minutes to bless someone else by paying a little extra attention with them.

Ripped from my arms

Have you ever had one of those moments that if you could you would just blast everyone away from you and comfort your little one close. Today I had one of those moments. I highly encourage Little T's independence but I also fully believe in keeping my word to him. "my word is my bond"

Well today we tried out a new church and I thought the greeter were just trying social engineer little T into feeling comfortable into going into the preschool room, something I had told him he did not have to do and he could sit with me if he could behave. Well low and behold they were also social engineering me too. I should have known better, I do know better but I was so focused on comforting that little T , and I truly didn't think they would gang up on me like that being our first time at the church.

I sat through the entire service angry and resentful, I wanted to leave and lash out. Luckily my husband is much more amazing and logical that I am and kept me from acting one my emotions. When I did go pick up little T a little early, I couldn't bear it any longer he was happy and playing which made me feel better but I still have such anger toward those whom social engineered me and in my mind ripped my crying son out of my arms. Something I will never forget and something that will NEVER happen again.

There have been times that I have left little T when he has been upset but it has always been my decision based on my knowledge of the situation. This time the decision was taken from me and my son ripped from my arm instead of letting him sit a few minutes in a worship service. In the past I have know the care takers trusted them and I know my son the decision to keep him with me or put him in a class should never be taken away and it will NEVER be taken from me again.

I am just truly thankful that the class ended up going well and he did end up enjoying himself however how the circumstance was initially handled was inexcusable. Have you ever had a time where you child was taken away, I know there are many worse circumstances out there than this? or a time where you wanted to send everyone away and just hold you crying child?

A little "I" time

So have you ever had one of those times that you just need some time to yourself. Well after weeks of non-stop going I need a little time to recharge. You see if I am an I when it comes to the Myers-Briggs test. For those who do not know the Myers-Briggs test is a personality test that is considered one of the more accurate one. For me I am considered an I which means introvert, this also means that I recharge the best when I have some alone time.

Over the years I have become more of an extrovert meaning that I have started becoming more energized by being around people. However every now and then I still desperately need a little time to myself. Do you ever have a time that you just need some time to yourself?

Anyway tonight that was the goal, but like all great plans it did not work that way. Little T decided to get out of ben multiple times with multiple excuses from wearied noise, which once was the cats the next was dad in his office, to telling me that I had to go to my own bed instead of working on this blog. Then  Daddy T decided to show me what he has been working on. Final the interruptions ended, a glass of wine was poured and relaxation began and a blog was born.

I hope everyone finds some time to recharge in their own personal way.

Being a Mom and wife Introduction

So being a mom and wife is a blessing but sometimes it can be beyond frustrating and challenging, this sections is about the joys and the trials of being a mom and wife.

Homeschooling Indroduction

Little T is going to be 3 this fall so up until now we have just been having fun with learning, which we will still do. However, this fall I am hoping to start more official schooling with preschool. This summer I will be working on the lessons I am hoping to use.

I will also be looking at the different approaches that are available, co op experience, and other homeschooling topics.